Legion and Calvary of Commercials and Lyrics
by LadyGuardianofKeondes
Summary: Join Losh and the Calvary as they host various sitcoms and random songs. From Tito humilitating PG to well Spike doing the can can. Pairings somewhere. Completly randomness. I am now taking requests for all commercials.
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry couldn't help myself. I was watching the Leapster Commercial and the kid blurts out random stuff and I thought OMG THATS SOOOO TITO! So Cham and I we play in as well. Why I added myself in IDK. But its funny. **

**The second one is of the prelude to Alive by Superchick! OMG they are soooooo awesome. Plus a famous saying from Igor the movie. LOL. Well got run, time to sleep! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Losh nor the Commercials, Lyrics and blah blah that is funny. **

**-LadyProtecta out! **

* * *

"Chameleon Boy and LadyProtecta with Tito here, introducing the new Learn Frog by the one and still in business, Leapster, the gaming company that is still hitting high in the children's learning industry," LP said, giving her cheesy smile to the camera. Tito sat between them, playing MoJo-JoJo.

"Why are we doing this again?" she whispered through her teeth, leaning towards Cham.

"It plays Leapfrog, Finding Nimero the fish game, Star Wars' new generation the saga of the sagas IX, Good ol' Dora the Explorer and Tito's Favorite, MoJo-JoJo the super gorilla! Edition while teaching your kid how to read and improve their math learning," Cham said, punching the air.

"Because, Tinya thought that we would get good publicity in this, besides the producers asked her mom if Tito could be on the show with two people he knows" he hissed. LP bit her lip. Phantom Girl was so going to pay for this.

"And my big sister loves Brin Londo!" Tito blurted out to the camera.

Awkward silence filled the room. The Director was flailing his arms at LadyProtecta and Cham. Tito realized what he did and slid back in his wheelchair.

"… two things then, your kid can have fun on the Learn Frog and Tito over here… when he gets home… uh Lady?" Cham looked over at the girl.

"…toast…" she said as Tito flashed an embarrassed smile before going back to his game.

Back at Legion HQ.

"I AM GOING TO KILL THAT LITTLE TWEERP! " Tinya screamed as Vi and Imra chased after her, struggling to restrain her.

Drew marched into his brother's lab. Brainy looked up.

"What's wrong and does it have to do with Phantom Girl?" he asked. Drew nodded.

"Do we have duck tape?" he said.

* * *

It's a black and white screen, Timber Wolf howls in the night as we head into a creepy castle. There a young boy with a pillow under his white oversized lab coat for a hunched back named Abel Smith hunches over his work

"Bring me a brain," he calls to one of his assistants. Skittles hands him a plate of jello.

"Not that stupid, a brain!"

Skittles brings a jello brain to him as well dragging her older brother, Querl.

"Just save that for snack and why is he here! Mandy! Get me that Brain!" he yells.

Amanda brings the slimy sickening item, the smell horrid to bare. Skittles grabs a gas mask as Brainy rolls his eyes.

"Yes," Abel mumbles to himself.

"ANITA! PULL…THE …SWITCH!" he booms.

"Yes Master!" she says as she jumps aimlessly at the switch, which is 10 feet off the ground. Her green- skinned brother lifts her up and flies toward the leaver. Skittles giggles as she pulls the heavy switch down.

Electricity flows from the machine to the body beside Abel. It jolts and opens its green eyes.

"Yes," cries Abel, "Its alive!"

"Its Jordanstein!" Skittles squeak.

Jordanstein began wriggling, breaking the straps that held him down.

"Wait! What's happening?" Abel screams, terrified at the creation he made break free from his bonds.

"No it's free! It's free!" Jordanstein barrels through the chemistry glasses, shattering them and heading towards them.

"RUN!" He cries.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I am taking request for commercials. God everytime I write these I burst out laughing. Anyways, Greenie wanted me to do a cereal commercial and a Quizno's one. God, I love the last one. **

**Ultra Boy: LP why do you hate me-**

**Me: YOU CALL ME LADYGUARDIANOFKEONDES, BOY!  
**

**Ultra Boy: But-**

**Me: Shut up. **

**Yes, I show no intrest in that nut case. Also yay Krypto and streaky! **

**-LadyProtecta out! **

* * *

"3-2-1 ACTION!" screamed the Director. Clark walked onto the kitchen set carrying a rather intimidated orange feline.

"My cat, Streaky loves Meow Mix," he said, giving his "I'm-just-your-neighbor-more-like-to-the-world-super-hero" smile.

Streaky sniffed the cat chow and barfed up a hairball. Superman blinked for a moment while the director franticly ran through the script.

As he had a panic attack, Krypto and Spike, Superman's dog and the Dox Twins' pet Drakoflora walked in as if they were in the commercial. They curiously sniffed the cat food and snarffed it down.

"Um… " Superman's eyebrow twitched.

"MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW," the two began to sang. Superman backed away as his girl friend: Lois Lane took over.

"Well its good for cats, dogs and um… uh little Drakofloras who think that they're doggies," she gave a nervous laugh.

"Wonderful they loved you," Streaky mumbled.

"Cut!" Yelled the director.

* * *

A day after, back at the Legion.

The Dox twins and little Stella and Clyista were eating their Trix cereal when the Trix commercial came on. In the commercial were a bunch of kids a sleep away camp, looking bored as… well a board. Suddenly a roller coaster made up of cereal with a sign that said, "Trix World" appeared and the kids jump on. The consoler, some dude with a yellow shirt and kaki shorts, suddenly went wide-eyed. He started screaming:

"_Lime Green! Orangey Orange! Its TRIXS!" _A cartoon like rabbit leaps out of the man and starts scrambling for the cereal. As the cereal falls into… well nothing, the kids look at him and yell, _"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!" _

The announcer began babbling on about the cereal's yummy taste with a little girl popping up on screen saying, "_Only if you're a kid." _

Clyista started to cry. "Cly what's wrong," asked Drew.

"That Rabbit killed that man!" sobbed the Durlan.

"Awwwww…Cly, he was disguised as a man. Heaven knows why he was there in the first place," Skittles mumbled as she ate a mouthful of Trix. Sun boy came in and poured himself a bowl of the artificial flavored corn puffs.

"You can't eat that!" yelled Stella.

"Why not?" Sun boy gave a nervous chuckle.

"Cause you're not a kid!"

"And who told you that?" Sun boy shot a glance at the twins.

"We didn't do anything!" They yelled.

"The TV said it!" Clyista said.

Sun boy ate his cereal. Stella and Clyista went nuts.

"We're telling on you!" Clyista screamed.

"COSMIC BOY, SUN BOY IS EATTING TRIX AND HE'S NOT A KID!" Stella yelled as the two little girls raced out of the room.

"SUN BOY!" Cos yelled.

"WHAT? YOU GOT TO BE JOKING!" Sun boy screamed and stormed out. Skittles and Drew looked at each other and spewed out their cereal, laughing like idiots.

"OMG, that was sooo random!" Drew cried.

"Duh, being the Legion leader's sister has benefits! Also Forecast calls for thunderstorms today, raining rants and tattle tailing!" Skittles added.

* * *

Abel and Mandy were playing video games on the washing machine while Matter Eater Lad did his laundry. The always-hungry boy felt that he should eat something now…but what?

Socks? Nah tastes like liver and pickles.

Shirt? Nah that tastes like a tuna and mint chocolate burrito.

Pants? Nah that tastes like Brainy's vanilla mash potatoes and mush surprise.

He pulled out of his pocket a five-dollar bill. Hmm… well he was going to receive his paycheck of fifty thousand dollars. Hmmm…fifty thousand dollars or one five dollar bill.

Eat it…

"If you're gonna eat five bucks, don't you think you should get more for your money?" a voice boomed out of nowhere.

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" screamed the old dude right next to him. Suddenly a bunch of Quizno's subs pop up all over the place.

"MY DREAM HAS FINALLY COME TRUE! THANK YOU FAIRY GOD MOTHER!" Matter Eater Lad cried.

"He dreams of… sandwiches?" Abel asked.

"Who cares, lets eat!" Mandy yells Belly flopping off the dryer into a mountain of her favorite cream cheese and ham sandwiches.

* * *

A random commercial pops up on Tinya's holo-TV. Its nothing but a yellow background.

"Wow a yellow background, Yay us…" LadyProtecta said blandly.

Suddenly Ultra Boy ran across the screen in a lavender frilly dress, spazing out over getting hit by Tito's laser beams as the little boy wheeled after him. The song: _No body likes me, everybody hates me, I think I'll go eat worms _played as he ran around.

"Curse you, LP!" he cried as his butt got fried by Tito's lasers.

"Now that that is classic!" Phantom Girl giggled, high fiving the teen author.

"Nice touch with the dress," Brainy said, wrapping his arms around a laughing-hard Shrinking Violet.

"I-pfft-must-pfft-agree!" she cried, laughing. Brin and Rochel just hit the rewind button and watched the commercial again.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay so I got this idea from the Potter Puppet pals. I created the first part of the plot while doofing around on the forums with Nemesis kid, Skittles, Drew, the calavary and Sun boy. I love watching that one episode. My faves are the mysterious ticking and Bothering snape. Now please don't kill me but I really don't take much part of Harry Potter but I am a huge fan of the Puppet version. **

**Also In the stories, from time to time I pop up as Superman's intern for the Daily Planet. And yes I have a dog named Inu. **

**Bffl requested me to do a commercial with her OC, Mia's little sister, Kiara in it. She wanted to see her personality, which I have created as an annoying bratty 7 year old sister. **

**So far in this is Puppet pals and Orbit Gum. So heres to you Bffl and all that have kept me on my toes! LOL! **

**-Lady Protecta out!**

* * *

"Write me a script in 24 hours or you are fired!" screamed the director. Poor LadyProtecta sat there, her raven feather color hair all in disarray, her eyes were baggy, her old metal glasses had cracks in them and she had at least 23 cups of coffee cups thrown here and there.

"MAN! I got homework, school and homecoming! Sprock! I hate this!" She screamed. She jumped up and turned on her ipod stereo and blasted it to "_High School_" by Superchick. She should also download _"High School never ends," _by Bowling for Soup. That would go great with her problems. She hadn't had a good idea in weeks and now that stupid director wouldn't shut his pie hole.

"Hey LP, you okay?" Superman asked his reporter intern as he came in after noticing the crappy jerk called the Director storm out of the Legion Head quarters, the back of his pants ripped, showing his microphone underwear.

"Fine boss, but I don't think I will be here very long, if I don't get this within 24 hours, its high tailing for yours truly! God I got sidetrack with interview Lady Areses. Oh tell Lois and Louise I said I was sorry for kick them out of the dojo."

"Yea they were pretty pissed at that. Oh FYI, your dog… um uh… Anthro dog person… Inu, and Rochel just ripped the back of the director's pants."

"_Pfffft Bwhahahahahahahahahhahahah! _Wow Boss! You soooo my day. Wish I could write something about that but… nothings funny. Also I'm hiding from Cham and Garth. Those two nit bots are trying to squeeze their way into every commercial. Also the director wants to introduce me to Kiara, Mia's little sister. She should be in soon. But for now, I'm heading to Youtube land!"

"Oooh! I know this awesome show based off of Harry Potter! : Shows his desperate teen intern the show that is based off of puppets:

: LP falls off her chair laughing:

:One minute later: :LP is breathing into a brown paper bag and pops it in her boss's ear.:

"Sorry boss, but I had to do it!" she giggles.

"Heh, no problem," he says through his gritted teeth, "Sooooo, what did you think?"

"Light bulb! But… what to base it on…" Suddenly she perks up as she hears Sun Boy and Nemesis Kid in the halls. She and her boss peek out and see them nagging at Brainy Ever since he came back, they've been doing that. Bothering him about how he destroyed their lives and why Violet kisses him even when it was him who smacked her against the wall.

"I got to put and end to this," Superman said.

"Don't think you'd have to boss, their pissing off the twins right now," LadyProtecta pointed to a little ten year old with her right animal pupil eye glowing red, and her living reflection, with his eyes burning with fury.

In a split second, little Skittles had Nemesis kid in a leg and arm pretzel lock, while Drew held his staff in Sun Boy's face and constantly said, "Stop hitting yourself, Stop hitting yourself, Stop hitting yourself."

"Light Bulb!" LP cried and zipped back into her office, as a thunderclap of typewriting followed soon after.

* * *

"I'm Skittles," said a cloth puppet with magenta eyes with matching yarn that intermingled with her brown string hair.

"I'm Drew!" said a cloth puppet with brown and green yarn.

"I am their brother, Brainy, who does not have the same color skin as theirs because I was once a robot and is still causing his brother to keep guessing how I became human. My little sister loves to follow me around," a puppet version of Brainy popped up. Puppet Skittles followed him around the stage singing, "Skippy, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy."

From the corner of the stage, was two other blondes looking at the green cloth puppet then at each other.

"Pssst… we are Nemesis Kid and Sun Boy. We are normal. We don't blow up stuff or take over planets. We don't like Brainy so we will go nag at him," they whispered. The puppet twins went off stage and when the coast was clear. Puppet Nemesis Kid and Sun Boy leapt out of the wings and quickly headed towards Brainy.

"Nag, nag, nag, you are horrible, nag, nag, nag, nag, your breath smells like cheese, nag, nag, nag, we wonder why your girlfriend still is obsessed with you even though you treated her like crap three years ago, nag, nag, nag, nag," they yelled.

Puppets Skittles and Drew walk in, with Skittles's face charcoaled black.

"How many times had brother told you not to mess with his chemistry set, sister?" Drew asked.

"56 times. But I was trying to make a love potion," Skittles said, glumly.

"Sadly my sister still does not know the difference between a chemistry set and an alchemy set."

The puppet twins looked up to see their poor puppet brother getting beaten up by the Meany puppets.

"They are being mean to our brother," Skittles cried. She disappears and reappears with orange, red and yellow hair with flaming eyes of fury.

"Let us go bother them!" Drew said. They ran up and screamed, "Bother, bother, bother, bother, bother, Freaks! Bother, bother, bother, dweebs with nose hair growing from their noses, bother, bother, bother, bother, you are stupider than my twin sister, bother, bother."

Puppet Skittles was smacking Nemesis Kid with a rubber chicken constantly, while Drew waves a stick at Sun boy causing him to smack himself. The twin puppets drive them off stage.

There all alone is Brainy Puppet, flopped on the floor. Puppet Shrinking Violet walks by and notices him. "Glomp!" she squeals and jumps on him, pecking him with kisses. He suddenly is brought back from lala land and chases after the little puppet.

:The next day.:

"I love it! The drama, the comedy, LadyProtecta this is your best work yet!" The director cries. Skittles skips up with her puppet and yells, "Glompity!"

* * *

Kell looks down at the planet earth. He then suddenly charged face first down to the surface. First he went through a plane, then a building, passing Kiara, Mia's Durlan little sister, who yelled at the top of her lungs, "HI KELLY!" Passed his girlfriend, Louise who he gave a swift kiss on the lips, into a pile of camel dung, down into the earth, to the center of the earth and found himself in Neo Tokyo. Ching wan!

Butterfly walked in wearing a white oriental t-shirt and white skirt. Karate Kid stood in the background, blushing at the sight of the Rockstar British speaking Imskan, ran to get her mom. "Got a dirty mouth? Clean it up with new Orbit Strawberry lemon mint," Butterfly said cheerfully. Kell revealed his shiny pearly whites.

"Fabulous!" Butter giggled, "For a good clean feeling, no matter what."

:on the other side of the world:

"Sweet Cakes?" Louise called.

"MR. KELLY! I WANT A PONY!" screeched Kiara.

* * *


End file.
